Cheating Doesn't Count on Mars

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Cheating Doesn't Count on Mars
Number 84
Broadcast Date November 30, 2012
Episode Length 1:11:12
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young, Jason Murphy

We are joined by Jason Murphy of Loading Bar and Spill.com. The boys revisit the mysterious explosion in an Indiana suburb and finally get a deadly update. SpaceX has a plan to send 80,000 people to Mars but Brian has to make a horrifying choice that could ruin his marriage. A startling link between balding men and apes is discovered. It’s all coming up on yet another edition of Weird Things.

Contents

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Indianapolis Explosion Revisited

The guys have an update on the Indianapolis explosion that they talked about a few weeks ago. At the time, there was no explanation given for the blast, but now officials believe that the explosion was set off on purpose.No further explanation was given at the time.

This Week in Mars

A recent io9 article discussed SpaceX's plans to send 80,000 people to Mars for $500,000 per ticket. (Note: A day after the recording of this episode, Elon Musk clarified that they would need to send 80,000 people per year.) As always, the guys discuss whether or not they would want to be one of the first people to colonize Mars.

Justin proposes a scenario where in 15 years and Brian's children are somewhat grown up and Jeff Bezos personally buys Brian a ticket to Mars. Jeff Bezos is only willing to buy a ticket for Brian, but promises to fly Brian's wife Bonnie out five years later. Under these circumstances, Brian would take the opportunity to be a Martian pioneer. However, Jeff Bezos goes back on his promise and Brian is no longer able to reunite with his wife; this is the worst case scenario for Brian. Justin wants to know how long it would take for Brian to get with another lovely Martian lady now that it doesn't look like he will ever be with his wife again.

In this scenario, Brian gets a little frisky with another woman and at that exact moment Bonnie shows up on Mars and it is revealed that the whole thing was all part of an elaborate reality show run by Jeff Bezos.

Apes: They're 98% Just Like Us

There are a lot of similarities between humans and other apes, however researchers recently found another interesting parallel between apes and humans. Turns out that apes go through a mid-life crisis as well. At some point, the apes realize that they've just been sitting around flinging their poo and people for 15 years and they just want to go out and bang all sorts of hot lady-apes

Picks

Brian

Justin

Jason

Great Quotes

  • "If bombing jokes caused actual explosions, I would literally be Osama Bin Laden." -Justin

Fun Facts

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Links


Preceded by:
"Deadliest Flash Mob"
Cheating Doesn't Count on Mars
Followed by:
"Fuzzy Wonder Goat"