DrunkTales

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DrunkTales
Number 42
Broadcast Date September 29, 2009
Episode Length 1:51:51
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young, Brett Rounsaville
Guests Jay Brushwood

Callers bring us their best DrunkTales-- who will win??

Contents

After bashing The Totally Rad Show for stealing Jay's Falcor Adobeshop, and wanting to "go Airwolf on their asses," Brian shows BBOTR episode Extreme Hotel Makeover, where he drunkenly attempts to vanish from the bathroom of a hotel room, but only ends up crashing through the ceiling.

Brian shows an Adobeshop of Brian, Justin, and Brett wearing diapers with the slogan "BB Live Show's Drunktales" in the style of Ducktales created by Dodd Vickers and Brett.

Justin talks about getting drunk in London and making out with three different female co-workers. He donned the alter-ego of "The American Asshole" and told the locals that "If it wasn't for my grandfather, you'd all be speaking German right now!" His co-workers would tell him to be nice, but his only response was "You know your history!" (NOTE: His grandfather was a paratrooper and fought against the Japanese.)

Brett gets drunk on vodka in a movie theater in Boston. He refuses to get a cab because he is "The Amtrekker" and as he walks to a friend's house on the railroad tracks he falls, rolls into the bushes, and barely misses an oncoming train.

OhDoctah calls in and tells a story about being at the Playboy Lounge in Las Vegas and making out with a 55 year old Tennessean woman, earning the nickname "Double-Wide."

OhDoctah's audio goes haywire and Jay starts taking a phone call.

Zak Holder sends in an Adobeshop of Brian, Justin, and Brett's heads on the cast of AirWolf's bodies.

Eric AKA Snowflake calls in to corroborate Justin's drunken English tirade. He corrects Justin and reveals that two of the co-workers were not as willing as the other one and his alter-ego was "The International Asshole."

OhDoctah calls in again to finish his story. When he got to his hotel room, he fell asleep for 17 hours while his friend Jay nursed him back to health.

Brian attempts to kick Jay Brushwood off the show for taking another phone call on the air, but is unable. He calls him up and yells at him, only creating more audio problems. It takes restarting ooVoo.

Chris Minton AKA Mitzula calls in and declares tonight, Jay Brushwood's best drunk story. Chris' best drunk story is getting drunk in Little Rock in Arkansas with Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins) and being called a pussy for not getting in the cab to the next bar.

Tadghoc submitted a story of a fellow Irishman to Justin who was tripping on acid and kidnapped a young down syndrome kid, thinking it was a troll with which he had trouble communicating, as it only spoke troll. (Story was disqualified, for not being a "Drunktale," but a "tripping balls" story.)

Daniel Garcia called in and told the story of a mutual magician friend of Brian and himself that was too chicken to call in. While in Dallas, TX at a party with his friend, he got drunk with two women and knowing he had to perform the next night, he walks home and gets in an argument with a bush and drops his phone while Daniel is on the line. He leaves the phone in the bush and heads down the street to a church to sober up. He passes out on a pew and realizing it's Sunday morning and the church would soon be full, he walks outside and finds his car. He climbs inside and takes a nap. After waking up, he realizes it wasn't his car.

Sam Walton finds a Snopes article revealing the troll story as an urban legend.

Daniel serves up another story where he pulls a Hangover like gag, leaving his sleeping friend in the hotel lobby still in his bed.

CALLER (Zach): While he was working at a radio station, at the age of 21, he was assigned to report from a local bar, The Bavarian Inn about The World Cup. The bartender was a fan and took him on the "Tour of Germany" which involved drinking 26 different beers from lightest to darkest each with a shot of jager. He was barely able to speak 4 hours later when the radio station called in for an update on the Croatian/UK game.

Bonnie Brushwood calls in and is introduced by a haiku she had handed to and is read by Brian

"Late night at Denny's,
my chunks spew, you are aghast.
I point and laugh, drunk."

Brian describes in better detail how Bonnie had vomited into her hands, as well as giving herself a vomit goatee in the process. As she looks up and sees an "All-American Red State family trying to enjoy their Grand-Slam" she laughs and points at them.

Jay Brushwood returns to a less than excited to see him group.

Slightlyused sent in a haiku to Justin that read:

"Jay sure is quiet.
He likes to talk on his phone.
Shut the fuck up now."

CALLER: On New Years Eve, he gets drunk, meets a girl, tries to have sex, but couldn't get it up and vomits all over her.

Brian isn't impressed.

Brian accepts two calls at the same time.

CALLER (David): He talks about finding a Kuhan and how he locked it in his closet. The next morning when they sobered up, they realized it was a Parkay.

Justin's soundboard trial is up. (No more soundboard?)

Daniel Garcia calls back in and while Daniel tries to talk, Jay uses the features of his webcam software to put himself in a heart and interrupts Daniels story.

CALLER (Chris): He meets a straight girl in a gay bar. They made out in the street and she caught a bus. He goes to a friend's house to crash and finds his female friend drunk and naked on the floor of the apartment. Passes out in her bed and drives her one-night stand home on the way to see a rugby game.

Robo-Trekker gives Chris some important advice.

Chris offers Ahhhpimping.Com, which he owns, to them.

Dodd Vickers calls in trying to kick Jay off the show. Offering $20 for Justin's soundboard, if Brian kicks him off the show again. Justin refuses to take the money and Jay asks if he's really doing such a bad job.

Brian is finally able to play the video of Jay drunkenly sliding down the stairs on his belly, impressing no one.

They name "Sports Animal" (Chris, the radio DJ) the winner by failing internationally.

Jay flips off the camera and leaves the show.

End of the regular show.

Brian tells the story of his bachelor party. He had to complete a list that included doing 5 shots, wearing a dress, mooning a sorority chick, getting a lapdance, and a tattoo. He got a tattoo on his thigh without any ink. The last item on the list is frolicking in a fountain. They end up in Littlefield fountain at the University of Texas. He jumps in and dances around. The police show up and Brian runs and jumps into the limo in his wet dress and they lock the door thinking it will keep the police out. The cop grabs the handle and when it doesn't open, he puts his hand on the gun, and makes them open the door. He handcuffs Brian and lines the rest of the crew on the curb and interviews them. Brian's friend Topher talks them out of arresting him the day before his wedding, even if the wedding wasn't for four weeks.

Justin gets drunk on dry martinis while attending a party for the 100th year anniversary of the newspaper, The Daily Orange, that he was the editor of at a ballroom in Syracuse, NY while he was still underage by way of friends. He hits on his co-workers, tells the sports reporters how amazing they were, and yells that "the alumni can suck a dick" when told he was embarrassing himself in front of them as he is escorted out of the party. Out in the street, he refuses to get in the car, spins around in the revolving door, dances down the street, and spins around the street lights while "dressed to the nines." He falls flat on his face and is taken home and put in bed. He then vomits all over himself and the only one to keep him company is his roommates cat. When the story is told back to him the next morning, his response is "I love that dog."

Great Quotes

Justin: "This is a very important lesson, Folks. The reason why you don't wash your colored laundry with bleach is because of this next guest, ladies and gentlemen, OhDoctah. Ohdoctah is here!" (Cut to: Jay Brushwood.)

Greeting Jay Brushwood back to the show: Justin: "Oh, my god! White Morpheus! White Morpheus is back! Sweet Lord!" Brett: "I thought I chose the blue pill."

Justin: "Caller Bukkake! Caller Bukkake! Caller Bukkake is when you answer two calls at the same time!"

YouTube


Preceded by:
"PeePals"
DrunkTales
Followed by:
"Secrets or BS (BBLiveShow episode)"