James L. Hookerbuyer is a sleazy purveyor of hookers.
- Says his own name.
- Is generally pretentious and condescending to hookers (especially those he intends to buy).
- "Mmmmm, I'm James L. Hookerbuyer. Mmmyeah!"
- "Listen, I have two things on my mind. One is banging, two is how cool I can look in this three piece suit."
- Wears a three piece suit.
- Is loosely based off of Jimmy Cox.
- Moonlights as a glitter-centric magician.
- Exists solely in Tina Turner's Private Dancer music video.