Jay Walking

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Jay Walking
Number 236
Broadcast Date August 29, 2018
Episode Length 02:02:00
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young
Guests Allie Goertz

Justin is done with a Twitter bit. A very positive update on #HamsForJay. MAD Magazine editor Allie Goertz is back on the show to talk about the magazine's reboot and play the headlines game "You Heard About This?" Next week: our final Dragon*Con show! And don't miss the boys live at Dragon*Con (Aug 30-Sep 3), Scoopfest Vegas (Oct 12-14), and TwitchCon (Oct 26-28)


Justin is Embarassed

During last week's show, Justin made the humourous statement that everyone on twitter should mention how an embarrassment he was for losing the game. This became a problem when he was attempting to promote a card game "Get Loot" with Darren Kitchen, and the replies to that were "What an embarrassment." Maybe some psychological experiments are better than others.

#HamsForJay Under the Old Oak Tree

How's Jay Brushwood, who has been direly sick in a coma in the hospital for the past few weeks? He is improving. He's had a tracheotomy but it's been removed now. Jay and Brian have been actually talking. His memory is kinda fuzzy but he's getting along. Brian and Jay called Justin after an episode of DTNS and got a great picture. Also Justin entertained the bystanders with his colorful language during the call.

Jay is actually walking now, but is doing a lot of physiotherapy which is really draining on him. Jay has a cell phone again, so you have official permission to keep up the #HamsForJay.

Two Modern Rogue Nurses

Jay was apparently visited by, as Jay described, "two rogue nurses" who were excellent patient care nurses that came into his room and "they said, 'we're the best two nurses in this whole place - here's the thing, we're going to bust you out of here. Here take these drugs and everything's gonna go crazy. But don't worry we'll be back at 1 am to bust you out." Both Jay and Brian thought maybe he had imagined that but Jay called back an hour later, "They're real, they just came back!"

Patreon Name Chant Corner Hour

Contribute at http://patreon.com/nightattack and you get access to the preshow and postshow in your own RSS feed for your podcast player of choice. Also you might get selected to have your name elevated to greatness like JOHN WOOGIE WOGANOWSKI.

Subscribe on twitch at https://twitch.tv/nightattack and during the twitch story minute you can sub and bit and all that jazz and get your name shouted out.

This episode's BIT BOSSES were sammichbrad, cheezybob and jking206.

It's Allie Goertz!

It's been forever since Allie Goertz has been on, in fact her last appearance was in 2015 on Night Attack episode 85, Death is Stronger than Pride. Now Allie is an editor at Mad Magazine! She has a podcast about the Simpsons and has a book about the Simpsons about to come out (release date is September 18th 2018) and a Simpsons Live Show on September 15th 2018. Her music is at https://alliegoertz.bandcamp.com/ including her Rick and Morty concept album.

Mad Magazine has been around for literal decades in print and there's still great features of the print version like spy vs. spy and the fold-in jokes.

"Apologizes For" Variant Game with Allie

The game is easy. Bryce as moderator has some headlines where the headline is incomplete. The players must guess what the missing information is. One player guesses and the other two players challenge them with whether they are right or wrong.

  • "Girl Surprised by BLANK at Chicago hospital gets heart transplant." Justin says "clowns". Brian and Allie both disagree. It was actually DRAKE. (reference)
  • "Ex-Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad defends BLANK." Allie says TRUMP. Brian and Justin both disagree. It was actually SERENA WILLIAMS. (reference)
  • "BLANK stocks just keep going higher, 'This is like bitcoin levels'." Brian says BIOTECH. Allie and Justin disagree. It was actually MARIJUANA. (reference)
  • "Missouri becomes first state to regulate usage of the word BLANK" Justin says CAN'T. Brian and Allie disagree. It was actually MEAT. (Allie actually guessed this). (reference)
  • "OneDrive will soon automatically BLANK your audio and video files." Allie says MAKE THEM FUNKY. Brian and Justin both disagree. It was actually TRANSCRIBE. (reference)
  • "'I hate them.' Locals reportedly frustrated with BLANK" in Chandler Arizona. Brian says GOLF CART DRIVERS. Justin thought it was something else (scooter rentals). It was actually ALPHABET SELF DRIVING CARS. (reference)
  • "For $450 this Japanese Company will BLANK" (Five Words). Justin says FUCK YOU INTO BED. Brian said SEND YOU A PIXELLATED DICK PIC. It is actually QUIT YOUR JOB FOR YOU. (reference)
  • "Facebook vows to BLANK by 2020" (six words). Allie says SOMETHING FOOD INDUSTRY. Justin says START PIXELLATING YOUR JUNK. It is actually RUN ON 100% RENEWABLE ENERGY. (reference)

It's a tie-breaker where everyone guesses!

  • "Harvard Professor claims BLANK is pure poison" (two words). Justin says VAPE JUICE. Allie says PURE POISON. Brian says COCONUT OIL. The answer is COCONUT OIL. (reference)

Brian wins!

Diamond Time

Movie Draft Minute

No no no, no more movie draft, it's over already. See all the details at http://draft.nightattack.tv

Quote This

  • "As Tom Merritt once said, you get the chat room you deserve" - Brian, describing the "embarassment" situation.
  • "Eh, might have imagined that" - Brian describing Jay describing some memory faults he's having.
  • "You're gonna be the first mother fucker to get out of the hospital on a pennyfarthing!" - Justin talking to Jay
  • "I don't think Mr. Fantastic could reach that far to pat himself on the back" - Justin, at Brian's self-congratulations for developing the "apologizes for" game.
  • "We have unleashed new Funktified technology" - Justin
  • "Every thing is a sex thing" - Allie, referencing what Japanese companies will do for $450.

"Fun" Facts

  • With the appearance in the Romany Malco "Prison Logic" movie, Brian and Justin have moved their Kevin Bacon Number to "two". https://oracleofbacon.org/
  • There was an excellent fan art submission with the Night Attack folks as characters from Cupcake and Dino.
  • Allie says the best way to support Mad Magazine is to subscribe, or pick up an actual print copy.


Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to Patreon.com/NightAttack and pledge ANY amount!


Preceded by:
"The Lips Match the Drapes"
Jay Walking
Followed by:
"Live from Dragon Con 2018"