Salmon Scales of Justice

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Salmon Scales of Justice
Number 230
Broadcast Date July 18, 2018
Episode Length 01:15:46
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young

Brian and Big Mac; suck on deez, Patrick Beja; and Law Wars tests the boys' knowledge of international laws. ACTIVATE THE SIREN!

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Lobster Tank

Justin has now seen a softball game from inside a lobster tank. Shrug

Pup Date

As Brian said. As far as I know it's ours. They have shot some segments for the Modern Rogue on the site. They've also filmed stuff with new best friend Macaulay Culkin @incredibleCulk yes that one from the Home Alone movies. "Mac" also pranked Brian by pretending to inhale hydrogen from a balloon when he'd actually switched it for a helium balloon. DO NOT inhale hydrogen under any circumstances.

Patrick Beja is from France and great and also from France

Brian appeared on Patrick Beja's The Phileas Club trying to explain Libertarianism.


You can join the patreon family at, get a custom RSS feed for the preshow and aftershow, you might get your name shouted out like MICHAEL LIPTON.

Also they dedicate a minute to shouting out twitch subscribers and bits givers from Get in on that too, or don't, I ain't your mom.

I AM THE LAW (game)

It's a game from Thomas Wadman with an assist by Nick with a C, where the guys compete against Bryce. Given two laws, both of which are real laws, which one is a USA law and which one is an international law which may be from France. For a bonus point they can try to guess which country the international law is from which may be France. They have to get seven points to save the orphanage.

Question 1

  • It is illegal to drive with an uncaged bear (USA)
  • A pillow can be considered a "passive" weapon (Germany)

They got this one right but not the bonus (guessed Australia).

Question 2

  • Traffic police are required to report all bribes that they receive from motorists (South Korea)
  • Biting off someone's limb will result in 1-20 years in prison (USA)

They got this one right but not the bonus (guessed romania/indonesia)

Question 3

  • It is illegal for donkeys to sleep in bathtubs (USA)
  • It's illegal to hold a salmon under suspicious circumstances (United Kingdom)

They got this one wrong and no bonus

Question 4

  • Oral sex is illegal unless it is used as a form of foreplay (Singapore)
  • A picked cannot be legally considered a pickle unless it bounces. (USA, Connecticut)

They got this one wrong and no bonus

Question 5

  • If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee must be paid just as it would be for a vehicle. (USA, Florida)
  • Children are required to salute passing cars. (China)

They got this one right, but didn't get the bonus (guessed Ecuador/Italy)

Question 6

  • It is illegal to kill a sick person by frightening them (Canada)
  • Moustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans (USA, Indiana)

They got this one right but not the bonus (guessed France/France/French Guyana/French Polynesia)

Question 7

  • It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothse, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar (Australia)
  • One-armed piano players must, by law, perform for free (USA)

They got this one right but not the bonus (guessed France/Italy)

Question 8

  • Citizens may not publicly remove bandages (Canada)
  • The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by a fine and/or imprisonment. (USA)

They got this one right but not the bonus (guessed France/Belgium)

Question 9

  • Taxi drivers must pay royalties if they play music in their cars for paying customers (Finland)
  • Policemen are allowed to bite a dog if they think it will calm the dog down (USA)

They got this one wrong and no bonus (guessed China/Japan)

They need one point to win!

Question 10

  • It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church (USA)
  • An ashtray is considered to be a deadly weapon (France!)

They got this one wrong (guessed Canada/France)

They saved the orphanarium! Do you want to send in a game? Send in a doc or whatever to Don't send it anywhere else, that's for chumps. You might get free stickers from

Here's another reason to be a patron. If you liked this quiz, they played even more of it in the aftershow!

Diamond Time

Movie Draft Minute

It's a changeover! Johntrekker has taken the lead! ZOMG! See all the details at

The Quoted

  • "Your wikipedia immediately gets a new section, Macaulay Culkin death is right there" - Justin
  • "What does Phileas Club Mean?" - Brian
  • "If it's a sex law, it's America" - Justin
  • "I don't even know why they made that a law, they [Canada] send all their funny people here" - Justin

Those Fun Facts


Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to and pledge ANY amount!


Preceded by:
Salmon Scales of Justice
Followed by:
"Babe Runner: Pig in the Shitty"