Wine Pairings For Cannibal Rituals

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Wine Pairings For Cannibal Rituals
Number 51
Broadcast Date February 14, 2012
Episode Length 1:09:48
Hosts Andrew Mayne, Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young, Bonnie Brushwood, Kimmy Kim, Frutron


Recorded on Valentine’s Day… Love is in the air as we are joined by not one, not two but three actual women. Bonnie The Invisible Wife is joined by Kimmy Kim and Frutron from the YouTube series Hollywood is Hard. Ritual cannibalism as a sign of respect for a fallen loved one is discussed. Frutron is bit by a deadly snake that could lead to all the wrong kinds of weight loss. Brian is consistently confused by descriptions of a Woolly Mammoth. A purple squirrel is loosed in a peaceful Pennsylvania town.

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Valentine's Day Celebrations

There are many different rituals when it comes to love. One of which is cannibalism upon the death of a loved one. Andrew asked Brian and Bonnie if they would prefer Brian dies and is eaten, or Bonnie dies and is eaten. Brian wanted to be eaten because of sexual reasons and Bonnie wanted Brian to die because she could always find another dude to marry. Kimmy Kim would eat Frutron because she hopes to absorb her comic talents through consumption. Then Andrew said that he would murder and eat Justin before he knew what was happening, however Justin argues that he would NEVER be hanging around with Andrew in a dire situation and would rather try to survive on his own.

Woolly Mammoth Returns

A video surfaced showing what appears to be a woolly mammoth crossing a river. Nobody is really sure what it is but Brian will believe whatever you tell him. Of course, scientists have said that they are just a few years away from being able to clone a woolly mammoth.

On the topic of cloning, Andrew asks everyone what extinct animals they want to bring back.

  • Bonnie- Dodo bird
  • Brian- Neanderthal
  • Kimmy Kim- Tasmanian Tiger
  • Frutron- Sea mink

Is the Millennium Falcon at the Bottom of the Baltic Sea?

There is a huge circular object at the bottom of the Baltic Sea that, according to the hosts, could be a cloning facility for President Obama. However, it could be a man made object mad by ancient man.

Russel's Pit Viper

The Russel's Pit Viper has a very special type of venom that has a strange affect on your body. Some of the guesses as to the effects are: makes you do the Macarena, makes you do push ups and makes you do the chicken dance.

Now back to reality, if you get bit by the Russel's Pit Viper, you have a 29% chance of getting Sheehan's Syndrome, where you lose your sex drive, become sterile, lose your hair and lose your hormones. In other words, you essentially lose the traits you gained during puberty.

A Mystical Creature

Recently, a family in Pennsylvania captured a creature, and then let it go (perhaps by mind trick). However, before letting it go they got pictures of this creature-- a purple squirrel.

Orangutan's Medical Procedure

An orangutan at the Cleveland Zoo recently got a medical procedure done. Some guesses as to the specific procedure were: an abortion, sex change, plastic surgery and Lasik eye surgery. In reality the orangutan, Kitra, got an implanted birth-control device.

Death Valley is Gonna Kill You

Scientists say that there is a giant volcano under Death Valley in California that could blow at any minute and kill us all.

Chronicle Talk With Max Landis

After the show officially ended, Frutron gave Brian the phone number of Max Landis, the writer of Chronicle. They had a pretty cool conversation with him as he was on the couch with three girls and probably really drunk.

Book Club


Kimmy Kim and Frutron




Great Quotes

  • "Weird Things: Like a bacon-wrapped street dog."- Kimmy Kim and Brian

Fun Facts

  • When Andrew and the girls freak out during the picks, the girls were suddenly wearing fake mustaches.



Preceded by:
"Aggressive Japanese Vampires"
Wine Pairings For Cannibal Rituals
Followed by:
"Lifestyles of the Reich and Famous"