We Make Cake the Old Fashioned Way

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We Make Cake the Old Fashioned Way
Number 34
Broadcast Date October 24, 2014
Episode Length 1:39:19
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young
Guests Andrew Zarian

This week, Brian and Justin unveil their plans for Night Attack 3: Too Old to Talk, JuRy went to an Outkast Concert and Andrew Zarian stops by to play Secrets or BS.


Cold Open

What happens when Brian and Justin are still doing their bits when they're Too Old to Talk? #TOtT

Night Attack 3: Too Old to Talk

The next Night Attack album is officially titled Night Attack 3: Too Old to Talk. For the album cover, Brian took a ton of photos of his daughters, Penny and Josie, dressed up as him and Justin. Brian released the photos to the Chatrealm to put together the official Night Attack album cover. Send your album cover submissions to @JustinRYoung and @Shwood on Twitter.

See/download all the images here

JuRY Went to An Outkast Concert

Over the weekend, Justin went to an Outkast concert with his brother. However, Justin told the story of the previous Outkast concert he went to a few months earlier. On that occasion, he and Ashley went to the BottleRock Napa concert which involved a ton of drinking wine and standing out in the sun. This combination led to Ashley getting sick, causing Justin to miss the second half of Outkast.

But this most recent concert went a lot smoother for ol' Jurbs.

Brian Can Finally Slack Off

Since March (7 months earlier), Brian has been super busy recording Scam School, "vacationing" and Scam Stuffing. Finally he's been able to sit around and blow things off while playing video games.


The Patreon is at $2029. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

You might also like to support Chatrealmer supreme, t2t2, on his new Patreon.

Secrets or BS

Andrew Zarian joins the show to play a round of Secrets or BS.

  • Warm-Up Round - "I'm gay"
    • Brian - Secret
    • Justin - Secret
    • Andrew - BS
    • Correct Answer - Secret
  • In high school he was fooling around with his girlfriend under the stage at school. Then some other couple snuck in above them to have sex as well. They were totally banging at the same time.
    • Brian - Secret
    • Justin - Secret
    • Andrew - BS
    • Correct Answer - Secret
  • He was doing coke and then there was a roadie doing coke and he had smelly socks or something.
    • Brian - Secret
    • Justin - Secret
    • Andrew - BS
    • Correct Answer - Secret
  • One time his wife gave him an Old Fashioned (handjob?). Then she made a cake without washing her hands and served it to her coworkers. The cake went over great.
    • Brian - Secret
    • Justin - BS
    • Andrew - Secret
    • Correct Answer - Secret
  • They were singing karaoke when Reese Witherspoon (or someone that looks like her) shows up and he and his friends befriend her. He spent a week coming up with a song to sing for her at karaoke. When they meet up with Reese for karaoke again and she wanted to take him into the ladies room for sexy times, but he resisted.
    • Brian - Come on, we all knew it was real
    • Justin - Secret (but he's an asshole)
    • Andrew - N/A
    • Correct Answer - Secret
  • TL;DR He touched the ass of a political candidate. Today she is one of the most powerful people in the city.
    • Brian - BS
    • Justin - Secret
    • Andrew - BS
    • Correct Answer - Secret
  • This person is going to college for mortuary science. TL;DR they (a bunch of dumb college kids) were embalming a cadaver. They did it improperly and his nutsack inflated and burst.
    • Brian - BS
    • Justin - Secret
    • Andrew - BS
    • Correct Answer - BS
Final score Brian - 6, Justin - 5, Andrew - 1

But really, who cares?

Friendly Recommendation


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Brian, Justin and Andrew Stroke Each Other

Brian starts saying nice things about Andrew and his GFQ Network, then Andrew starts saying nice things about Brian and Justin. Then Justin starts saying nice things. Check out Andrew and Paul Thurrot's Patreon to join in on the stroking.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the Diamond Club Subreddit and submit your thing. Just be sure to include "[diamondtime]" in the submission title.


Here's the collection of Gatowag's 10 second films that they mentioned.

Also in the aftershow, the guys discussed their strange experiences with ambien. Andrew once ran out of his house, got in his car and yelled at a tow truck driver. Brian once woke up Bonnie, told her that the Girl Scouts called about the meeting tomorrow (they didn't call, there was no meeting) and went back to sleep. Brian also had an extended Skype conversation with Justin that he has absolutely no memory of.

Finally, they talked about how Justin bears a striking resemblance to a bearded woman from the 1800s. Seriously… LOOK AT THIS! LOOK! LOOOOOOOOOOOOK!

Great Quotes

  • "The time to stop drinking wine is when it starts tasting like grape juice." - Ashley
  • "HAHAHAHA when JuRY has to be the dad it's great" - CurtisLaraque in chat
  • "Have you seen a dead weiner? What's that like?" - Brian (59:49)
  • "No but seriously, is it weird? Because they're dead." - Brian
  • "[My wife said], 'the weirdest thing you did was getting up in the middle of the night and saying, MITOCHONDRIA, MITOCHONDRIA, THE OLDEST LIVING CELL. And reciting it over and over again.'" - Andrew Zarian in the aftershow

Fun Facts

  • During the Aftershow Justin debuted his Accountability Horn to keep both he and Brian in line when referencing the drama with TWiT.


Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to Patreon.com/NightAttack and pledge ANY amount!


Preceded by:
"Blank Shots Fired"
We Make Cake the Old Fashioned Way
Followed by:
"Let it Go"