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Number 285
Broadcast Date August 14, 2019
Episode Length 01:07:12
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young

Tales from DEF CON; wrinkled, grizzled, entirely-normal-looking genitalia; and a new game, "Spurious Correlation." Plus, your emails to [email protected] SIXTY-NINE!

Night Attack is performing live at the Out of Bounds Comedy Festival August 27, 2019 in Austin, TX. Get your tickets or badges now at https://oobfest.com/schedule/tuesday/hideout-down/830


Totally Def Con

Brian and Justin were both at DEFCON http://defcon.org. Brian was selling product from the Scam Stuff booth, and Justin was helping Darren Kitchen selling product from the Hak5 booth. Justin figured it wouldn't be a lot of work. Whoops.

In contrast, the Scam Stuff booth had "a gorgeously lit step and repeat"

I'll Be in the Lab

Brian's youngest daughter has taking up the hobby of "inventing", usually culminating with her using the phrase "If you need me I'll be in the lab."

Support "The Boys"

You can support Night Attack on patreon, https://patreon.com/nightattack. You get the preshow and postshow in your podcasting app for it. This week was ostensibly described as "the best preshow ever." You can also get your name shouted out in the aptly named "Name Chant Corner Hour" like ALEJANDRO DORITOS.

You can support Night Attack on twitch, https://twitch.tv/nightattack. For a whole minute you get to sub and bit it up in the sub n' bitz minute and have your name awkwardly wedged into a one minute story.

This episode's the THE BIT BOSS was BOXING OCTOPUS.

Spurious Correlations Game

It's a game from Biocow. Given sets of data that may or may not be correlated, someone will set the over/under on the correlation and the other players pick the over or under. Please remember that correlation is not causation.

  • Bachelors awarded to men in STEM vs. Lawyers in Arizona. Brian says 0.55. Justin takes over, Bonnie takes the over. The correlation is 0.976916 (over wins).
  • Precpitation in Maryland vs. per-capita consumption of eggs in the USA. Justin says 0.87. Bonnie takes the under, Brian takes the under. The correlation is 0.131633 (under wins).
  • Drowning by falling into bath tub vs biology/biomedial doctorates (US). Bonnie says 0.69. Brian takes the over, Justin takes the under. The correlation is 0.508373 (under wins).
  • Average daily precipitation in Holt County Nebraska vs. Electrical engineering doctorates awarded (US). Brian says 0.35. Justin takes the over, Bonnie takes the over. The correlation is 0.806087 (over wins).
  • Sunlight in Texas (kJ/m^2) vs. Proportion of women PhDs in S&E. Justin says 0.42. Bonnie takes the under, Brian takes the over. The correlation is 0.63049 (over wins).
  • Deaths caused by cataclysmic storm (us) vs Per capita consumption of beef Pounds (USDA). Bonnie says 0.345. Brian takes the over, Justin takes the over. The correlation is 0.0308627 (under wins).

Last question, everyone guesses!

  • Bachelor degrees awards to women in STEM vs. Passengers killed in collision with stationary object (US). Brian says 0.95. Justin says 0.88. Bonnie says 0.96. The correlation is -0.964828 (almost opposite correlated).

Justin wins! Sure why not! Do you have a game? Send it in to mail at night attack dot tv. You more than likely will get stickers from http://StickersOrDIAF.com.

Diamond Time

Movie Draft

Technically no movie draft minute this week because we're waiting for the draft to end. http://draft.diamondclub.tv.


"Lamb, the gospel according to Biff" is good (yes). A viewer mentions to brush your gums not just your teeth (Brian's dad brushed his gums so much he needed medical attention). How do you keep from getting sick going to conventions? (Exposure yourself to so many diseases you'll be immune, also a dubious fictional product involving Carny Blood). Holt County Nebraska is one of the top beef counties in the USA.

Quotable Quotes

  • "Selfie, Selfie, Selfie, Selfie, that's my favorite episode too, Selfie, Selfie" - Justin describing the activity at the Scam Stuff Booth
  • "I passed with statistics and all that shit" - Bonnie


Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to Patreon.com/NightAttack and pledge ANY amount!


Preceded by:
"Oh Hi, $45"
Followed by:
"There Was... An Escalation"