Nothing Is Certain Except Death And Tanning

Nothing Is Certain Except Death And Tanning
Number	61
Broadcast Date	June 4, 2011
Episode Length	1:45:55
Hosts	Andrew Mayne, Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young

Spiro and The Fudge are back on the case! This time they have to solve a mystery involving a dead murderer who might have been killed by a vigilante. Will they be able to crack the grisly case? Or will Spiro be too busy full body tanning to find to the clues? Andrew proposes the merits of being swarmed by scorpions instead of spiders. Also, Armageddon is yelled about, the Department of Defense reveals they have two telescopes more powerful than the Hubble just lying around a warehouse somewhere and Game of Thrones has praise lavished upon it.

Contents

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Spiro and The Fudge Are Back

Spiro and The Fudge are reunited to solve a new mystery. They are brought to the scene of an apparent homicide out in the Canadian woods. The victim has a record that includes the murder of a person whom he believed sexually assaulted a loved one. The victim's car was found nearby and we can conclude that he was forcefully removed from his vehicle.

After an autopsy, they have determined that the violent trauma on the body and the cause of death are different. The man apparently just died in his car and was dragged out by a "vigilante" black bear that mauled him. Upon discovering the scene, local officers euthanized the bear.

Interestingly enough, neither Spiro nor The Fudge thought to call Animal Control during the investigation.

Con of the Spiders

Brian, Justin and Andrew are out having a great time outside of Dragon*Con in Atlanta when suddenly, thousands of spiders fill the streets. Upon stomping on the spiders, they all swarm on the attacker and inject them with their venom.

This scenario actually happened in a town in India during a Hindu festival. The event resulted in many injuries and at least two deaths.

Deep Impact vs. Armageddon

Andrew resurrects the 14-year-old debate between "Deep Impact" and "Armageddon"- the two meteor impact movies that both released in the summer of 1998. Brian loved "Deep Impact" but hated "Armageddon". Andrew loved "Armageddon" but hated "Deep Impact". Justin however hated both movies.

This Week in Space

Recently, the Pentagon went to NASA and said something like "Hey bro, you like those big telescopes right? Well... we have a couple crazy-ass telescopes over in this warehouse that are just collecting dust. They're probably better than Hubble... I dunno... is that something you would want?" NASA probably said something like "YES". Now if only they had a way to (relatively) cheaply send these telescopes up to space...

"Ohh Shoot We're Gonna Be Destroyed By Asteroids"

Turns out, there's a bunch of near-Earth objects out there and a lot of them want to come to Earth and kill us. Jerks. Luckily we are on our way to being able to deflect asteroids and we will probably be able to deflect any giant asteroids before one will actually be able to murder us all.

Fun Facts

• If you go to Dragon*Con dressed as "Tyrion Lannister-Wolverine", Brian, Justin and Andrew will love you forever.
• After the recording was over and Justin left, Brian and Andrew had a long conversation about copyright law.

Book Club

Brian

• Breaking Bad

Justin

• Game of Thrones Season 2

Andrew

• How to Build Your Own Spaceship

Great Quotes

• Andrew: "Come on! What did CCCP stand for!?"

Brian: "Commie Commie Commie Prick?"

Sponsors

• Conlangery Podcast
• UGH Wear
• Port Con Maine 2012

Links

• Podcast Link

Preceded by: "Dawn of the Face Eater"

Nothing Is Certain Except Death And Tanning

Followed by: "The Moral Molecule"