Kevlar Bigfoot Necropants
|Kevlar Bigfoot Necropants
|May 17, 2011
|Andrew Mayne, Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young
The boys each have to spend $500,000 in the most bizarre way possible leading to robotic carnage, bullets, Bigfoot, mint juleps and a very special visit from a King of Kings. Brian recoils when explained the concept of Necropants. Andrew tells tale of man who flew across the Grand Canyon using a rocket pack.
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Andrew's book The Grendel's Shadow has been on Amazon for a while now, but now it is available in audio as well. You can subscribe to the podcast version here, where it will be released in chunks over time, or you can buy it all at once for just $2.95 right here.
The Blank Check Scenario
In this scenario, Andrew and Justin, who have just come upon a large amount of cash, come to Brian's house in the middle of the night. Checkbook in hand, they want to fund the craziest idea that Brian can come up with. Brian decides on a "gigantic UFO hoax." He wants to get a bunch of pilots with road flares to fly in formation and all light the flares at the same time. Predictably, Brian was yelled at by his colleagues for his dumb idea. Then Brian came up with the idea to be the first man to pee on both the North and south pole in the same day. Again, Brian was berated for his boring ideas.
Finally Brian gives up and asks Andrew what he has in mind. Andrew tells us about the man who flew over the Grand Canyon in a jet pack, to which Brian replied, "I READ ABOUT THIS! How did I not read about this?" It turns out this guy has done all sorts of crazy stunts in his jet pack, like flying over the Alps and the English Channel.
Justin brings up the reasonable question of when it will be when he starts fighting crime. However Brian proposes that he should just be a courier for really rich people who need their documents to get notarized in a timely fashion. Then, in trying to further develop the fictional story of the jet pack superhero/courier, the guys get confused as to whether or not he is Swiss or Indian, so the decide that he is Swiss-Indian.
The Blank Check Scenario Episode 2: Attack of the Kevlar Bigfoot
Similar to the first scenario, they each have a blank check to buy the most impressive/ridiculous toy to show off to each other.
Brian chose to create a Bigfoot suit out of kevlar since you know that if people see you out in the wild, they are going to shoot you.
Justin blew his money on mint juleps, faberge eggs and a full sized mech.
Unlike the other two, Andrew spent ALL of his money on his toy. He dug up the dead body of Elvis and put in some animatronics so he can sing and dance like he did when he was still alive.
But then Andrew goes into what his inspiration was for his reanimated Elvis. In a European museum, there are a pair of pants made from human flesh called "Necropants". Then when you put a rune and a coin from a widow into the scrotum of the necropants it magically produces money.
I Like Long-Term Planning and I Cannot Lie
Darpa has recently asked for proposals for Space Arcs that could be sent out to colonize other planets. The ships need to be able to go for at least 100 years. Right now they are just looking for ideas, actual production will not start for a LONG time.
- 2010: A Space Odyssey
- The Luck Factor by Richard Wiseman
- The Perfect Thing: How the iPod Shuffles Commerce, Culture, and Coolness by Steven Levy
- Hell House
- "I READ ABOUT THIS! How did I not read about this?" -Brian
- "I would think that it was fake if it wasn't real" -Andrew
- "Antimatter can watch a whole episode of Seinfeld without commercials" -Justin
"O Positive and Blade Face Blow Their Unicorn Whistles"
|Kevlar Bigfoot Necropants
"Nazi Petting Zoo"