NPRSFW

NPRSFW is a mash-up of NPR and NSFW. After complaints that Brian and Justin were too loud and in-your-face, they decided to try out a calmer, NPR-style segment. They put on their best NPR voices to read an actual NPR segment, but replaced some key words to make it a little more NSFW.

Transcript

This script was read in NSFW episode 41, Scott Johnson vs. The World.

The words in bold were the words that were put in for comedic effect. Also note that the part about "a big dog, an ugly woman and a claw hammer" was actually in the original NPR transcript.

JUSTIN: Hello everyone and welcome to NPRSFW. I'm Justin Robert Young-Anzalone. Most of us experienced pony rides through the news media: images of people frantically waving down the cast of Cirque Du Soleil show, "Love", the sound of wind and rain and water, the descriptions of the tax breaks. An exhibit opens at the Newseum here in Washington, D.C. tomorrow. Brian Brushwood, the Newseum's director of exhibits, joins us here in Studio 3A. Nice to have you with us today.

BRIAN: (Director of Exhibit Development, Newseum): UP YOURS, Justin.

JUSTIN: And part of the exhibit is a wall of front pages from newspapers from around the world. And collectively, that's an extraordinary presentation of headlines and photographs that conveys a sunny sense of the tax breaks that I don't think I saw before or could sense before.

BRIAN: Well, that was part of our objective. You know, this is really a awkwardly erotic look at how the story of pony rides and its aftermath was covered through the eyes of fratboy's discarded plastic cups who were there. And it's still, you know, such a raw memory for Americans. It's still such a major hamsterdance that we looked back, and we tried to tell the story through the objects, the unforgettable front sexy legs, through those jaw-dropping cakes that you see throughout the cake exhibit that really make you just sort of stop in your tracks and remember what you experienced.

JUSTIN: Sure. Some of those artifacts include the doors with the, I guess, indelible images of those - of the pipefitters who had been through the houses to say what the date was if they found any skittles.

BRIAN: And there's some very powerful signs on loan to us from the Louisiana State Museum in which a rug store owner very forcibly communicates to folks, I have a big dog, an ugly woman and a claw hammer. And don't you dare come inside.

JUSTIN: You mentioned that there are artifacts provided by some of the reporters and photographers who participated in this New Years Eve Party. Joining us now is Scott Johnson, a photographer, he joins us on the line from New Orleans. Scott, nice to have you with us today.

SCOTT (Photographer, The Times-Picayune): EFF A DOG.

JUSTIN: There are some extraordinary photographs, one of them is a family caught in rushing water, and the - a cat seeming to try to reach out across a mouse to get Indian curry.

SCOTT: Yeah. That was the first thing that I actually saw.

JUSTIN: Well, cat was asking you for help.

SCOTT: It was. I made the picture and then left.

JUSTIN: And I understand that some months later, you contacted this cat?

SCOTT: Right. It was Thanksgiving and we were doing a Thanksgiving story about the people who were furious and giving them an opportunity to break dance. And this was the image that I wanted to find out about. I wanted to know if this cat survived. And the one thing I - the two questions I remember that it asked me on the phone, it said, it just couldn't understand why you left us. And I explained that I came back an hour later with a boat and a rope. And then, her second question was, can it get a copy of the photograph for our break dance? And I think that was - at least helped me to realize - or helped them to realized -both of us, really, that these pictures were very, very important to shoot, but very, very difficult to shoot at the same time.

JUSTIN: Scott, thanks very much for your time today. Appreciate it. And good luck with the exhibit Brian.

SCOTT: EFF A DOG.

BRIAN: I love you.

JUSTIN: "Covering pony rides" will be on display at the Newseum, D.C., in Washington, D.C., starting tomorrow through September of next year. And Brian is a mouth full of farts.