I Want Something Dumber

I Want Something Dumber
Number	99
Broadcast Date	January 12, 2016
Episode Length	1:19:51
Hosts	Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young
Guests	Bonnie Brushwood, Bryce Castillo

Justin and Brian got day drunk in Oakland, went on a top-secret, undercover mission, listened to a love song written for a friend of the show and then we learn when all of our favorite words were invented.

Contents

Cold Open

The official Secrets or BS song

Jurbs and Bri Do Oakland

Brian flew out to Oakland this past weekend to record new Night Attack tracks. On Friday, Brian had a meeting in SF so that took up most of the day, then they went out to Justin and Ashley's favorite wine bar. They got up bright and early at around noon on Saturday and they went out to brunch and decided to just get day-drunk and make $1 bets on all sorts of random shit. Later they were walking by the Oakland Convention Center and found themselves surrounded by a mass of 18 to 40-year-old white males AKA their audience. Even though they were part of the same demographic, none of these dudes knew Brian or Justin. Turns out they were all in town for a big Magic: The Gathering con.

The Contender: Undercover Sting Operation

Next, they planned on going to a pinball/pizza joint because that's what adults do, however they pulled a RoundSpace.co.uk change of plans. Jury sent Brian on an undercover mission to a board game shop. There's a shop in Oakland to whom Justin sold four copies of The Contender, and Justin wanted to know how they would handle a person (Brian) going in and asking for recommendations for a fun politically themed party game. Brian went into the store with his phone recording audio in his pocket and they played it on the air. Unfortunately, the guy recommended Coup, Avalon and The Resistance - which, to be fair, are all games where you politic. After turning down the first round of recommendations, they turn to this new game called The Contender. The guy wasn't too familiar with it - it is a new game after all - but he described it fairly well: "Debate Against Humanity". Brian decided to buy The Contender and the guy mentioned that it's been selling really well. In his words, "a local guy made it, kinda came in, was like ya want some?!". And yeah, that's pretty much how Justin went about it.

At this point in the show, Justin asked everyone to stop by a game shop and ask them if they have The Contender. Their answer will be "no", but that'll make it easier for Justin and company to sell wholesale. Brian then suggested that you also record your interaction and maybe even do it in the Stossel voice. Also abide by any applicable wiretapping laws or whatever. Like, breaking the law is bad, right? But if you do it, totally send it into us.

Come On Down to Harmontown

So Brian and Justin have been drinking for 10 hours and they meet up with Allie Goertz to go to Harmontown in San Francisco. And after drinking literally all day, it was Dan Harmon who pissed his pants in front of everyone.

Patreon

The Patreon is at $1558. If you want to become a patron, head on over to Patreon.com/NightAttack.

Sunday Brunch with Allie

So they're getting brunch with Allie Goertz when she mentions that the lead singer of a fairly well known band has taken a liking to her and gave her a song that they haven't released yet. It's called "Allie Goertz". And it's about how he really likes her, but he's too shy to ask her out. After brunch Allie played the song for them in the car. It was quite a thing. He really doesn't beat around the bush; dude is way into Allie and he's worried that he might be too old to date her. Also Stephen Hawking makes a cameo to tell him that he's too old. Besides all that, it's just a really great song. After the song ended Allie asked the guys "So uhh, is he into me?".

Anyway, be on the look out for the new song "Allie Goertz" by [popular music band], coming soon!

Ngrams

So Google has scanned thousands? millions? A TON of books and now they let you search them to find the first occurrences and popularity of words, phrases and names in literature throughout time. It's pretty neat. Check it out. So let's make a game out of it. The Chatrealm searched for a bunch of words and the gang tried to guess the first time the word was found in literature. The the person who is the closest gets a chance to guess the most popular year. If they're within 25 years, they get a bonus point or something

Note: When viewing the results during the show, the graphs were only shown up to 2000, when there is actually data up until 2016.

• Swag
  • Brian - 1850
  • Justin - 1972
  • Bonnie - 1960

First appearance: 1678

• Peeps
  • Brian - 1920
  • Justin - 1819
  • Bonnie - 1775

First appearance: 1847

Peak: 1894

• Vape
  • Brian - 1875
  • Justin - 1701
  • Bonnie - 1920 (as a typo)

First appearance: 1825

Peak: 1831

• Dildo
  • Brian - 1946
  • Justin - 1701
  • Bonnie - 1720

First appearance: 1738

Peak: 2005 (Since data up to 2000 was only shown on the air, the announced peak on the show was 1999)

• Ninny
  • Brian - 1797
  • Justin - 1796
  • Bonnie - 1795

First appearance: 1617

Peak:

• Skank
  • Brian - 1860
  • Bonnie - 1613

First appearance: 1878

Peak: 2008 (Since data up to 2000 was only shown on the air, the announced peak on the show was 2000)

Final score: Bonnie: Some points - Brian: More points - Justin: Less points than Bonnie

Diamond Time

• No Pink Spandex
• Buy a Diamond Club flask
• Paragon Games

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

• As long as Ride Along 2 performs to expectations, Justin won't come in last place. He's very happy about that
• The CRUMDUM still projects Brian losing by $5 million to Tom
• Can Star Wars make another $100 million in the next four weeks?

Aftershow

The guys talked a bit about their plans for this year's live shows. First off there's no Nerdtacular this year, so they'll do a live Night Attack during SXSW. Times and specific days are still up in the air, but the live Diamond Club stuff will happen on March 11th-13th in Austin.

Then later in the summer they want to do a live show in the Bay Area. Date and location TBD.

As usual, the guys plan on doing a show at Dragon Con, but they also want to look into doing more live shows around the country.

Great Quotes

• "I want something dumber" - Brian talking to an Oakland game store employee
• "[B.Itch] is my hemorrhoidal cream." - Justin
• "We really do respect the legacy of Dr. King." - Justin seconds before the show ended

Fun Facts

• Martin Luther King Jr. day is traditionally a big day for African Americans to go see Star Wars movies

Characters

• John Stossel during the Contender sting operation segment

Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to Patreon.com/NightAttack and pledge ANY amount!

Links

• Preshow Doc
• Night Attack.tv Episode Archive
• Diamond Club Subreddit

Preceded by: "Actually, It Was "Joy""

I Want Something Dumber

Followed by: "Coming soon!"