Almost Everything is Awesome

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[Almost] Everything is Awesome
Number 26
Broadcast Date August 24, 2014
Episode Length 1:34:02
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young

Brian and Justin drop some true truths and almost regret it afterward. Brian has had a pretty rough week, there are more setbacks at DragonCon 2014 and, so it's not a completely depressing episode, they play a round of Name That Autocomplete.


Cold Open

Captain Morgan tries his hand at slam poetry.

Feral Cat Wonderland

While Brian was out on vacation, he came across a parking lot with so many feral cats that they had to put up a sign telling people to not dump their cats here. Because this is the internet, Brian and Justin got into a discussion about how many cats they could fight.

Alright Fuck It, Let's Get Into It

So Brian hosts a show on the internet called Scam School. It's kind of his thing. On various social media platforms, he's known as "ScamSchoolBrian". Scam School is what launched this whole internet thing of his. What you may not have known is that Brian is still on the same agreement that he signed back in 2007. Another thing you may not have known is that everyone that joined the network after 2008 owns all of their own stuff and just uses Revision3/Discovery Digital as a distribution platform; a pretty sweet deal. It'd be really rad if Brian owned even 1% of Scam School, but he doesn't. He has put a TON into Scam School and the brand by providing more/higher quality content, as well as answering literally tens of thousands of YouTube comments and taking over ALL of the production work.

Anyway, guess who's trying to renegotiate his contract? Guess how it's going. Brian truly loves Scam School and hopes he will get to do it for the rest of his life.

The discussion started out a bit passive aggressive, peaked at full-on "flip cars and light fires", and ended with some true truths and real emotions. Negotiations are still on-going so, seriously, don't go starting any fires. This is not the time.

Btw, here's the Diamond Club reddit post discussing Brian's cryptic tweets.


The Patreon is at $1981. If you want to become a patron, head on over to

Soonish* Night Attack Patrons will receive the complete and unedited Captain Morgan tracks that inspired the latest round of cold opens for Night Attack.

*Shit like this usually takes a while

Name that Autocomplete

Woah, we haven't played this game in a LONG time. Read the rules here. Play along here.

  • Justin - 4 Autocompletes
    • Hint - White actor
    • Guess - Tom Arnold - Correct!
  • Brian - 3 Autocompletes
    • Hint - Crazy
    • Guess - Beyonce - Incorrect
    • Correct answer - Lady Gaga
  • Brian - 4 Autocompletes
    • Hint - Mole
    • Guess - R.L. Stine - Correct!
  • Justin - 4 Autocompletes
    • Hint - Britto
    • Guess - Jonathan Ross - Incorrect
    • Correct answer - Piers Morgan
  • Brian - 3 Autocompletes
    • Hint - White actor
    • Guess - Robin Williams - Incorrect
    • Correct answer - Guy Pearce
  • Brian - 3 Autocompletes
    • Hint - White actor britto
    • Guess - Martin Freeman - Incorrect
    • Correct answer - Pierce Brosnan
  • Justin - 4 Autocompletes
    • Hint - persona/character (jerk it)
    • Guess - Garfield the cat - Incorrect
    • Correct answer - Pee Wee Herman
  • Brian - 4 Autocompletes
    • Hint - event
    • Guess - Coachella - Incorrect
    • Correct answer - DragonCon
  • Brian - 0 Autocompletes
    • Hint - It's a thing
    • Guess - Molly Wood - Incorrect
  • Correct answer - Cool aid
  • Justin - 3 Autocompletes
    • Hint - thing
    • Guess - Mudkips - Incorrect
  • Correct answer - podcasts
  • Brian - 7 Autocompletes
    • Hint - Person
    • Guess - Tom Cruise - Incorrect
  • Correct answer - Richard Simmons

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Mr. Wizard's a Dick


FUCK! #FT9K is Down!

If you've been keeping up with the plans for DragonCon 2014, you know that it's been quite a roller coaster ride. Well, get ready! We got another loop comin'! First it was a full-on Turquoise Jeep concert. Then it was (and still is) a Ali Spagnola, Professor Shyguy, MC Allergy and Tay Allyn concert. Then it was all that PLUS Turquoise Jeep. Now the latest twist: the people in charge of the podcast track have informed Justin that they have rejected the Turquoise Jeep show in Crystal Ballroom at their proposed timeslot. Fuck. So the current plan is to have the Jeep perform DURING Night Attack, but that might put a bit of a damper on #FT9K. Representing Turquoise Jeep will be Flynt Flossy, Whatchamacallit, Moonrock and Slick Mahoney. Anyway. All of the aforementioned people will perform at DragonCon in some location at some time. Things will probably still change. Oh by the way, it's seven days from now.

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the Diamond Club Subreddit and submit your thing. Just be sure to include "[diamondtime]" in the submission title.


Great Quotes

  • "I don't want to be accused of starting a race war, but…" - Brian (28:11)
  • "Richard Simmons is the Pol Pot of gay people." - Justin (56:35)

Fun Facts

  • You may have seen a dark figure walking around behind Brian during this episode. T'was Jason Murphy.
  • Don Herbert (aka Mr. Wizard) died at the exact moment that Brian signed his Scam School contract.


Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to and pledge ANY amount!


Preceded by:
"Bonnie Count"
Almost Everything is Awesome
Followed by:
"Live From Dragon Con 2014"