How Short Is Her Butt!

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How Short Is Her Butt!
Number 280
Broadcast Date July 04, 2019
Episode Length 01:39:15
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young
Guests Scott Johnson

Bonnie's art is on fire! Scott's butt is a big topic of conversation. A scientific round of "Jargon and the Jargonauts" and your emails to [email protected]


Super Genius

It started in the preshow (, but Brian and Justin were on a quest to find a cartoon with Wile E. Coyote where the Coyote speaks, and is not a bugs bunny cartoon.

Bonnie Fire

Bonnie the invisible wife happened upon a cache of her artwork going back twenty years. There was also the realization that her art has gotten a lot better over that period.

Bonnie's idea is to have a show of her art at the new Modern Rogue World Headquarters ( and a "fire sale": everything goes up for auction and things that don't get sold go onto a huge bonfire... Bonnie-fire? Justin volunteered to be MC of the event.

Also a rat got in and started eating a piece.

Patreon and Twitch

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Scott Johnson is Here

Scott Johnson, host of a million podcasts including The Morning Stream, The Instance, There Will Be Dungeons and more at is a long-time guest going back to NSFW Show days. One of Scott's most famous contributions is him saying "EFFA DAWG" on the show and they opened the interview with that clip. Follow Scott on twitter at

There was a brief discussion about the show "I think you should leave" and a sketch about Ford designing a car with "a steering wheel that doesn't fly right out the window" which turned out to be a real life event and may or may not be art imitating life.

Jargon and the Jargonauts Game

It's a game by Adam, Bryce has some office jargon terms, and the guys have to guess what the jargon means. Let's go! Jargon is sourced from The Office Life.

  • Job Stopper. Brian says a data point so important it renders things moot. Justin says it's the dead weight on the team. Scott says a production line problem that stops everything. Bonnie says it's a hot co-worker that when they walk through the office everyone stops (this was where the episode title came from). It was actually a tattoo that isn't covered by business casual.
  • Duck Shove. Justin says someone who deflects the blame onto someone else. Scott says says it's a nickname for a forklift. Bonnie thinks it's related to duck's having sex with their corkscrew penises and having to navigate red tape at the workplace. Brian says it's when corporate fucks you over. It is actually "The act of passing a difficult question or task to an unsuspecting third party."
  • TLA. Scott says "Totally Lost Argument". Brian says "Three Letter Acronym". Justin says "Tits and Long Ass". It is actually "Three Letter Acronym."
  • Kilting. Bonnie says it's going into a meeting and baring your balls. Brian says it's when you go to a meeting and have nothing to show but bluff instead. Justin says it's when your reveal everything about a project. Scott says it's about peeing and cheating around business processes, or really just about peeing. It is actually "To make preparations for the Scottish market." Scott got awarded the points somehow on this.
  • Babylonian Orgy. Brian says it's when someone is a penny pincher at work, but changes to flying out to the desert and sucking dicks. Bonnie says it's when you have an extravagant lunch. Scott thinks it's an animated guy during a presentation. Justin says it's a too-long conference call or meeting. It is actually "A boring conference out of town. Only applicable if the participant won't enjoy a single minute of the time away."

This last round is for all the points.

  • Oxygen Move. Justin says when you need more time on a project. Scott says it's when you've been in a job too long and want a change. Brian says it's a decision that brings a company down into a crumbling pile of rust as oxygen corrodes. Bonnie says WEEEED. It is actually "The act of 'breathing new life' into a project or business."

Bonnie wins! Super secret information! Bryce set it up that they played the exact same game they did in The Zamfir of Mouth Guitar from October 2018. Same questions and everything. You can see the old game starting at about the 36 minute mark.

Diamond Time

Movie Draft

Still Frogpants. See it all at


A listener's child is sick and bedridden for a bit. what magic tricks can you learn like this? (Brian says the Mind Control Scam which Richard Garriott performed on the International Space Station, doesn't even need props). Justin is going to Gen Con August 1-4 2019 in Indianapolis and giving two panels. Ever had a nemesis? (Everyone says yes), followed by a discussion of past nemesis events.


  • "Wow, you've really evolved" - Brian, seeing some of Bonnie's older artwork

Fun Facts

  • Brian is legend-level at Hearthstone now
  • Justin saw two ducks having sex once.
  • Abandoned deserts are different from occupied deserts.


Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to and pledge ANY amount!


Preceded by:
"An Unending Buffet of Torture"
How Short Is Her Butt!
Followed by:
"Coming soon!"