Where Are Snails Even Trying To Go?

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Where Are Snails Even Trying To Go?
Number 283
Broadcast Date July 24, 2019
Episode Length 01:36:01
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young

An anti-Baby Boomer rap from MC, Sneakers is on his last legs, and Brian's back from Comic-Con with his girls. Plus, a new bit examining the r/NoStupidQuestions subreddit. Plus your emails to [email protected]!


Baby Boomers

There was a brief attempt at the start of the show to make Bonnie rap about baby boomers.


The Brushwood's beloved dog Sneakers is old and sick and probably not going to live much longer. It's sad and sure Sneakers may have been a piece of shit dog that barked at 6 am, but he lived his best life near the end.

They showed a picture of a smiling dog named Sneakers that they have hanging in the garage one time that Sneakers had gotten lost. Which didn't look so much like a lost poster as just a "look at this smiling dog."

Sneakers also once famously peed on Dan Trachtenberg, director of the movie "10 Cloverfield Lane."

Comic Con

Brian, two of Brian's daughters, and Justin were at Comic Con this past week. Justin got to see the movie by Katy Dirks that he briefly appears in. Comic Con saw a full-power session of Dollar Betting Game where they "clang their big metal ballsacks" full of coins used to make bets with each other.

They did a count and realized that between the two of them they had about $200 in coins.

Patreon, Twitch, and You

You can support Night Attack on Patreon at https://patreon.com/nightattack, you definitely get the preshow and postshow in your own RSS feed, but you might also get your name shouted out in the name chant corner hour like MBOMBOCUBE

You can support Night Attack on twitch at https://twitch.tv/nightattack, and get your name shouted out during the twitch subs n' bitz story minute.

Brian has apparently spent all his money trying to get Modern Rogue World Headquarters ready.

This episode's the THE BIT BOSS was AARONBERN2

No, Stupid Questions

There is a subreddit called r/nostupidquestions which allegedly has questions and is certainly not made up stories for performance art and trolling like all of reddit is. Bryce has some selected no stupid questions from r/nostupidquestions and the guys discuss them.

  • Can lions survive by eating bugs?
  • What does "H" stand for in "Jesus H Christ?"
  • Ways to get permanent amnesia?
  • Should gay people be allowed to have incest?
  • Why was the small person in Austin Powers called "Mini Me?"
  • Is it bad to fart on your kid?
  • Do bugs get confused if they fly into your car at one location, and fly out at another?
  • Where are snails even trying to go?
  • Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already at the ball game?
  • Do you shake milk before drinking it?
  • How loud would I have to yell at a bug to kill it?
  • What's the full version of the name "Seth?"

Diamond Time

Movie Draft

Frogpants Frogpants Frogpants. See more at http://draft.diamondclub.tv


More on Bryce and sports, consider the XFL (eh.), the Raiders. You can watch golf, or curling. You can watch live Soccer on pluto.tv. How to pronounce "FIFA." A listener thought the re-do game was great (it was). Did the kid who drink a gallon of gatorade on BBLiveshow die? (no, Justin follows him on twitter).

Fun Facts

  • Did you know Brian doesn't like the new Lion King movie?


Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to Patreon.com/NightAttack and pledge ANY amount!


Preceded by:
"Hues The Boss"
Where Are Snails Even Trying To Go?
Followed by:
"A Very Special Not-Episode"