You Will Die In Space

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You Will Die In Space
Number 22
Broadcast Date November 8, 2010
Episode Length 59:03
Hosts Andrew Mayne, Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young

You Will Die In Space is the twenty-second episode of the Weird Things Podcast. A newly minted Billionaire Justin makes Brian decide if he'll send his family on a one-way trip to space. Andrew reveals his brilliant escape plan for when a zombie apocalypse ravages the his coastal hometown.


Andrew begins by talking about the overwhelmingly positive feedback about the previous episode Room 717.

They then move on to discuss their recent trip to Halloween Horror Nights to see Brian perform and meet his family. Andrew brings up a story about when he was talking to Brian's daughter Penny, that really got Andrew excited about the next generation of space travelers. (NOTE: Why Brian allowed Andrew to talk to his children was left a mystery.) The whole gang (Brett, Katymoe Justin, Andrew, Brian and his family) was at Universal Studios when it was mentioned that they wanted to see the shuttle launch before they left Florida. Upon hearing that this would be the last shuttle launch, Penny began to tear up and says "But, I want to go into space." . Andrew then started to show her pictures of all of the different private space ships that could potentially take her into space. He explains how her emotional attachment to exploring space really inspires him. Then finally showing some compassion towards Brian's family, Andrew doesn't mention the politics of building a space elevator to Penny, know that it would just upset her.

In their first scenario, Justin finally becomes ridiculously wealthy and he comes to Brian with a proposition. Justin has a giant space arc holding about 5,000 people and he wants to send Brian on a one way trip to colonize another planet about 7 light years away. It would take a really long time to get there, however thanks to cryo-sleep, the trip to get there will only seem like a few years. At this point Brian is very hesitant as he does not know how his wife and kids would react to such a proposal. However, once Andrew says that Brian will have a hand in establishing a government on this new planet, Brian is totally into making the trip (It seems that having power over others trumps family happiness in Brian's mind).

In his next scenario, Andrew brings up, Brian and Justin's current obsession, the zombie survival show "The Walking Dead", asking them if they ever consider what they would do if they were in that situation. Andrew begins the story with Justin getting a call from his vacationing mother telling him that they are ok and that they all just need to take care of themselves. Justin, not know what is going on go on Drudge Report, the pages is filled with siren gifs, implying that there is something really bad going on. He sees that there are riots all across the country with infected people killing people.

Justin has two plans, depending on the situation. If the infection hasn't quite gotten to his neck of the woods yet, he gathers supplies and just watches things play out, until it starts to creep towards him. However if the zombies are right in his own town, he is going to immediately GTFO. Either way, he gets in touch with his hunting friends to help fight off the zombie hordes.

Brian, despite his questionable family priorities, already has a plan in place for the zombie invasion. He will go to his parents house, where they own a few acres of land and have water reclamation sources already in place. When given the option to go to a military base, he scoffs saying that he wants to do his own thing, he doesn't want to be told what to do. He sites his expert air traveling skills as reason to not do what the military says in a zombie invasion, which seems strange.

Andrew then makes things interesting by asking the two what they would do when an old buddy calls them up asking what they were doing. Brian talks to him, be only gives out vague information as he doesn't want any more stragglers to slow him down. Justin on the other hand wouldn't even answer the phone if some random old friend. Brian argues that you should always answer the phone because of the chance that a government millionaire is calling to rescue him- the post-apocalyptic version of the Nigerian Prince scam.

Next, Andrew tells us his plan for the zombie apocalypse. He would just go out on a boat to escape the hordes, he would still venture into towns, but once things go bad, he will go a little ways off shore and move to the next town. However, Brian and Justin point out that he would have to watch out for modern day pirates attacking him. But then Justin suggests that he and Andrew go out and be the post-apocalyptic pirates having access to a huge number of giant yachts around Florida.

Great Quotes



Preceded by:
"Room 717"
You Will Die In Space
Followed by:
"What If The Andromedans Are Jerks?"