Call 312-863-3109

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Call 312-863-3109
Number 122
Broadcast Date June 21, 2016
Episode Length 1:28:33
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young
Guests Scott Sigler

Brian and Justin work out the details for next week's maritime contest between Admiral Nelson and Captain Morgan, then Scott Sigler returns to play Name That Autocomplete. Also, call 312-863-3109. No, I'm serious. Call it.


Cold Open

My Dick Hates You All' by MikeTV

Brian and Justin Invented ASMR

The guys started off the show by talking about how they invented ASMR one night when they were jerking off together.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I can neither verify nor dispute the validity of thiis story, but I'm gonna guess it didn't actually happen. But in all seriousness, they DID do an aftershow back in 2010 where they whispered the whole time… That's pretty much ASMR. Link.


Chatrealmer MBerger0 put together a real, actual phone tree using clips from last week's episode. You can call it yourself at 312-863-3109.

Check out this map of the whole tree.

Nelson vs. Morgan

So last week, Admiral Nelson confronted Captain Morgan live on the show and they set up a maritime state capital battle in two weeks time (next week). In the days after the episode, Captain Morgan contacted Justin to request his services as a manager for this battle. In a completely separate turn of events, Admiral Nelson got Brian to represent him in next week's fight. Well THIS IS AWKWARD. Brian and Justin are professionals, so they won't let this conflict disrupt their duties as show hosts.

Live on the show, Brian and Justin worked out the terms of the state capital battle. Admiral Nelson and Captain Morgan will take turns naming state capitals until each of them have named five state capitals. Whoever has named the most correct state capitals, is the winner. If there's a tie, it goes to sudden death overtime.

If the Captain wins, Brian has to buy Justin a bottle of Captain Morgan (the rum, not the man) and if the Admiral wins, Justin has to buy Brian a bottle of Admiral Nelson (the rum, not the man).


The Patreon is at $1,479. If you want to become a patron, head on over to

Scott Sigler Returns!

HEYO! Scott Sigler is back! If you're a weird new person, Scott is an awesome sci-fi writer that likes coming on the show and bullshitting with us.citation needed

Name That Autocomplete

It's the game we played in the first ever NSFW Show. We put a word or phrase into Google (or Duck Duck Go) and write down the auto-complete suggestions. Brian, Justin and Scott are given the auto-completes and have to guess the original phrase.

  • Category: Entertainment
    • Guesser: Scott - 7 autocompletes
underground season 2
libre San Diego
    • Answer: Lucha

  • Category: Person
    • Guesser: Justin - 4 autocompletes
with the good hair
    • Guess: Becky - Correct!

  • Category: Politics
    • Guesser: Scott - 4 autocompletes
salad with pistachio pudding
    • Guess: watergate - Correct!

  • Category: Future tech
    • Guesser: Justin - 4 autocompletes
charging stations
tax credit
    • Guess: electric vehicle - Correct!

  • Category: Meme
    • Guesser: Brian - 4 autocompletes
    • Answer: dabbing

  • Category: Anatomy
    • Guesser: Scott - 7 autocompletes (Neshcom only gave him 4)
healthy blog
heterogeneously dense
    • Answer: breast

  • Category: People
    • Guesser: Everyone
    • Guess (Justin): Korean - Correct!
Final Score: Brian: 2, Justin: 6, Scott: A million

Books and Stuff

Scott writes books. You can listen to them for free on his website. They talked about book publishing for a few minutes.

They mentioned a short story that Chatrealm helped write. Back on NSFW the Chatrealm came up with the outline of a dumb story called "Beam Up on Aisle Five and Scott turned it into a short story that was published in a short story compilation called "Bones Are White".

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

  • Amtrekker is out. Cordkillers is out. - Brian
  • The only team I'm worried about is DTNS - Justin
  • Is the "Chekov Bump" a thing? - Brian (Anton Yelchin passed away this week)
  • The Ghostbusters marketing isn't giving me much hope - Everyone
  • Everything the Ghostbusters ladies and director has done was great - Everyone
  • We were NEVER gonna get a Ghostbusters 3. If that was gonna happen, it woulda happened 20 years ago - Justin


Soooooo… the Podcast Awards. Turns out the winners of this year's awards have to pay $300 for their trophy. Because of this, and a bunch of other things apparently, not many people in the Chatrealm/Frogpants family are excited. Since not many Frogpants shows were nominated, we probably lost a bunch of voters. Also there was the Giz Wiz/Hak5 thing where they were both nominated in the same category. Ugh… I dunno. Whatever.

Then Scott called the Night Attack phone tree and he picked the exact right choices at every step. It was great. Again, that number is 312-863-3109.

The stream ended with Neil Cicierega and Ray Parker Jr.'s (and Huey Lewis'?) Bustin'

Belt Winner

  • Nobody
    • Chatrealm called out Justin for saying "Son of a bitch", but that's not a Belt-worthy phrase

Great Quotes

  • "I AM THE BALD ANDREW MAYNE" - Scott Sigler in the chat at the end of the show

Fun Facts


  • None


Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to and pledge ANY amount!


Preceded by:
"Ding Ding Ding Winner For You!"
Call 312-863-3109
Followed by:
"Estonian Man Ruins Everything"