Nobody Hurts My Bri-Bri

From DCTVpedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Nobody Hurts My Bri-Bri
Number 256
Broadcast Date January 16, 2019
Episode Length 01:27:52
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young

Debating a controversial track for the upcoming album, which comes out in one week! Get on the mailing list NOW NOW NOW at so we all pre-order it at the same time next week. Plus, which actors are good now and the magic Mount Rushmore.

I mean it, join the dang email list at



It's true, Night Attack has a new album called "All's Well, A Night Attack Album" and it comes out on January 22nd 2019. It's gonna be cheap, you want to pre-order and help Night Attack get their third numba one comedy album sign up for the mailing list and get notified when it's available and on what platforms (as many as possible). Also people on the mailing list will get sent deleted tracks from the album.

History lesson: When "Night Attack 2: Enjoy the Garden" came out, the mailing list got sent a bunch of tracks that were deemed not good enough for the album featuring a new character. These tracks turned out to feature the first appearance of Captain Morgan which would go on to be one of the most popular returning characters. So, sign up for the mailing list.

Brian and Justin will be on The Morning Stream with Scott Johnson and Brian Ibbott and DTNS that day promoting the heck out of it.

Controversial Tracks

Patrons at the $5 and $10 level have already been sent a selection of tracks and/or rough cuts of the album along with a survey about which tracks should or should not be on the album.

They played a track from the new album, "Shitting on and Doxxing Brian's College Professor" and opinions were divided over whether (a) it was even funny (b) it should be on the album.

Brian notes that professor actually is one of his favorite professors from his time in university, and they just had a rough start.

They also played not-so-controversial tracks "British John Stossel" and "Medieval times" which previously had been made into an ICE COLD OPEN by the amazing Spearmint Nitrate.

The Album is Cheap, So You Can Buy It

Brian thinks the last time they hit numba one on the Billboard comedy chart it was about 3000 album sales in a week. Brian did some thinking and figured that if "700 people bought it four times" that would be enough, and so they want to price it as cheap as possible to encourage you to buy it on multiple platforms to help with their quest to be comedy numba one.


Bonnie got Brian for christmas a spare tire cover for his Jeep that did not say "JEEP" but instead said "JEEEEEEP!" which was genius.

Patreon and Twitch

Do you know? If you support Night Attack at you get the preshow and the postshow in your very own RSS feed for your podcast player like Overcast, or Pocket Casts, or your elite Diamond Rio or whatever you use. You could also get your name shouted out in the Patreon Name Chant Corner Hour like our new pal IAN GODDARD.

You can also subscribe to Night Attack on twitch at and during the twitch sub story minute get your bits n' subs all weaved into a brief yet hilarious story.

This episodes THE BIT BOSS was GRAMCRACKER_.

Wars of the Stars Episode One: Attack of the Tomatoes Game

Samurai85x sent in this game. Given two movie stars, which one has the higher average score on rotten tomatoes for the last ten movies. The "last ten movies" is the important point, such as the example of Michael Caine who's been in a bunch of stinkers lately and drags his average down.

The idea is that Brian and Justin text their answer to Bryce, so they can't hear each other's answers. In the event that both guess the same correct answer, whoever's text was received first wins.

  • Robert Downey Jr. (74.8%) or Scarlett Johanssen (74.7%). Brian got the point
  • Chris Pine (78.3%) or Chris Pratt (68.1%). Brian got in first and got the point
  • Edward Norton (65.3%) or Mark Ruffalo (77.6%). Brian got in first and got the point
  • Chris Hemsworth (56.9%) or Henry Cavill (46.4%). Justin got in first and got the point
  • Margot Robbie (54.6%) or Nicole Kidman (65%). Nobody got points.
  • Ben Affleck (49.3%) or Jason Momoa (42.8%). Nobody got points.

Last round, worth three points!

  • Chris Evans (65.5%) or Michael Cera (72.3%). Brian gets the points!

Brian wins the game due to skill and knowledge and certainly not because he would text Bryce an answer before the question was even finished being read.

Do you have a game to play? Send it to mail at night attack dot tv, and if they use the game you more than likely will receive stickers from

Diamond Time

Movie Draft

Brian is in the lead! Full details at


Who should be on a magician's version of Mt. Rushmore? (Houdini, Houdin, David Copperfield, maybe Dai Vernon, Doug Henning? What to do with Penn and Teller, and James Randi? And of course, the All-Setup Magician)


  • "It ain't no cash grab if there ain't no cash" - Brian, regarding album pricing
  • "For the first time in this process, I'm doubting myself" - Justin, regarding the college professor track
  • " 'Welcome to Marwen' looks like 'Polar Express' for people that have to magnetise their hard drives because they don't want the cops seeing what's on it" - Justin

Facts that are Fun

  • The professor that Brian and Justin Shit on and Doxxed is the professor that inspired the New Yorker Cartoon joke that became Where's the Homepage?
  • The episode title "Nobody Hurts My Bri-Bri" was from the track about the college professor.
  • Jason Momoa does, in fact, appear as Aquaman in the Batman v. Superman Dawn of Justice movie.


Preshow & Aftershow

Since Night Attack is directly funded by the viewers, the preshow and aftershow videos are available to Patrons of the show ASAP and freely available 48h after release. If you're not yet a Patron of the show, then go to and pledge ANY amount!


Preceded by:
Nobody Hurts My Bri-Bri
Followed by:
"All's Well With Cogswell"