The Science of Triumph

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The Science of Triumph
Number 77
Broadcast Date May 24, 2011
Episode Length 1:11:52
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young
Guests Tijuana Jackson, Adam Haacke
Sorry Tony

THE BEST EPISODE EVER. Seriously... stop reading this; go watch the show.


Opening Video


Tijuana Jackson

If you haven’t heard of him before, Tijuana Jackson is a convict turned life coach. He has come on the show to help us all out with our problems. Also, if you couldn’t get your problems solved on the show, you can call him at (310) 363-7145, tweet him at @TijuanaJackson, visit him on Facebook, on Youtube or visit


  • Anonymous- He has a Canadian girlfriend, but because of a health problem, he cannot move there. Should he move to the border or just let her go.
TJ says that he needs to take care of himself first, and once he gets better, she may not be as attractive as she previously seemed.
  • Anonymous- He is a 43 year old father of four, should he "get ahead" or "get some head".
As the enlightened Kanye West once said, "when you chase one thing, another one is getting away" or something like that.
  • Aaron- He has no idea what he wants to do with his live, he has had many different jobs and usually does pretty well as what he takes on, and he cannot afford to make any "big life mistakes".
If you go through life being afraid of making mistakes, you will never do anything.


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Mo' Problems

"Blue in the Gold State"- She has a bachelors degree and is having trouble getting a job and now with a new house and a new kid, there is even more pressure to get more income. She is usually over-qualified for most of the jobs she applies for and rejections just lead to fits of Postpartum depression.

Her priority should be to feed that baby and her husband needs to raise his income. Most importantly she needs to quit with the pity parties.
  • Sean- He graduated college and payed off all of his debts and has a fairly stable life at the moment. Should he go back to school for an advanced degree and go back into debt, or should he stay in his somewhat boring current job.
At this point in time any paying job is a good job. He should start his own business and not work for anyone else.
  • @Cameron401- He is 6'4" and white as it gets, what gang would fit him in jail.
He should get with the 7 foot albinos, there are nearly translucent so you dont even see them "until they’re right up on you".
  • Adam- He is 23, a geeky web dude and works with a lot of older married guys. How can he get with some girls and what is the best pickup line that will start a relationship.
TJ wrote an awesome song for the guy that told him what to do.
  • Cameron- "I am bad at everything ever. Please help me."
What some people think is good, someone else may think is great. He needs to get rid of his preconceived notions about what is good and bad.


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Summer Music Series

Adam Haacke joined us to play a medley of wrestler’s theme songs on the piano to honor Randy "Macho Man" Savage. You can find more from Adam on his YouTube Channel.

New Champion! Woo!

Great Quotes

"I’m trying to keep it P.C. for your fucking listeners" -Tijuana Jackson
"I'm a life coach with a goon hand, okay? Ex-convict turned motivational speaker, okay? I slap folks in they face with they issues." -Tijuana Jackson
"My momma was probably a better parent to me than her momma was to her ... then I realized that her momma's momma had a momma. And then her momma's momma had a momma who had a momma, ya heard me? So if you gonna start blaming motherfuckers, you gonna have to go back and get with the cavemen ... if you have time to do that, then I can use some interns around this fuckin damn office." -Tijuana Jackson
"You need to quit runnin' from yo fucked-uppedness!" -Tijuana Jackson

Fun Facts

  • During the show, PDelahanty kept a running tally of things that would need to be censored (or number of times people had to drink). Following the TV standards by including phrases like "God damn", but not "bitch", there was a count of 48 by the end of the episode. Whatever the old record might have been, this episode shoved a stick of dynamite into its mouth, threw it off a bridge, and watched it explode.
  • Tijuana Jackson seems to strongly resemble Romany Malco. Weird, huh?
  • In the post-show, it was decided that JammerB and Tony should get gifts of appreciation. JammerB suggested buying bricks instead. Brian opened a collection and quickly had enough to buy about 4 bricks. It was decided to do a brick for each episode going forward as long as bricks are still available. ...and a cookie basket will still be sent to TWiT.


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Uncensored Episode Stream

Links & Downloads

Preceded by:
The Science of Triumph
Followed by:
"Fish Stick Apocalypse"