Justin or Brian (w/ MikeTV and Ashley Paramore)

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Justin or Brian (w/ MikeTV and Ashley Paramore)
Number 156
Broadcast Date February 14, 2017
Episode Length 1:28:51
Hosts Brian Brushwood, Justin Robert Young
Guests Bonnie Brushwood, MikeTV, Ashley Paramore

It's Valentine's Day, and we’re joined once again by MikeTV live in studio, and by Justin's wife, Ashley Paramore, live in Oakland studio! We discuss what we've done for our mates in the past for Valentine's Day. Bonnie Brushwood then joins us to play a game of I Said WHAT?! with a twist.

Contents

Cold Open

Brian does some weird shit with dollar bills.

Lazy Asses

Brian and Justin felt the need to let us know that they decided to do zero work and go with a bit they already have called I Said WHAT?! instead of creating a new bit. However, MikeTV and the wives are the ones that will be guessing this time. But first...

What Day Is It?

Apparently today is the day where you buy chocolates, cards, and give butt sex to your significant other (trust me, it'll make sense in a second). Brian got Bonnie a rose for today, which is sweet. However, Brian always remembers this day as his dad's birthday, and it's also Brian's adopted bastard father from the popular magic duo Penn & Teller, Teller's birthday too. Happy Birthday!

Butt Sex

Brian found out what the most bought item in anticipation of Valentine's Day is. Butt plugs. More like, Happy Buttsex Day, am I right?!

Brian recalls the most infamous outtake on the popular game show, The Newlywed Game, where the host asks where the strangest place you've ever made whoopee? The contest hesitates to answers at first, but then proceeds to say "in the ass."

We asked the chatrealm if they have had Valentine's Day butt sex, but they seem to be hiding behind the answer of pol pot. It's ok, you don't have to hide in shame! We don't judge!

What Have You Done for Valentine's Day?

Turns out that Brian's original fire eating routine came from him trying to impress Bonnie with his fire-eating skill on Valentine's Day. However, that certainly wouldn't pass for a good gift today. Same with MikeTV writing a song, it worked for the first 3 years, but after awhile, you just have to be more creative.

When asked what Justin did for Valentine's Day, he said he might have had some butt sex! Turns out Ashley's birthday is a day before, so Justin already took Ashley out to eat for her birthday, but he did clean 70% of the kitchen.

Did You Forget to Wipe Your Butt?

Bonnie asked Brian whether he had taken out the trash. Justin made the correlation to using the facilities and not wiping your butt afterwards. Ever since then, Bonnie has asked Brian whether he wiped his butt or not, referring to whether he took the trash out or not.

Curse Words Are Fun

Brian's confused why his kids appear to not like curse words. When Brian was a kid and first found out about curse words, they were the greatest thing ever. Brian's kids watched Avatar and they were appalled when they said the word ass in the movie.

Justin used to be a Goody Two-Shoes, however in 3rd grade when he was lunch monitor for his table, there was this kid that got on his nerves. He got so mad that he said the F word right to his face, which opened up the flood gates to where he is now.

Bonnie was in 7th grade and running for student government. She was passing out gum to promote her campaign, and this jerk came up to her and demanded that Bonnie hand over her gum to him. This asshole then proceeded to "flip the bird" right in front of her face. How rude! Bonnie had tons of questions afterwards about the meaning of what the jerk just did to her.

Patreon

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JUSTIN O'BRIEN!
JUSTIN O'BRIEN!
Wait a minute, this guy's the hugest fan, he's got both host's names in his name!
JUSTIN O'BRIEN!
JUSTIN O'BRIEN!
JUSTIN O'BRIEN!
JUSTIN! O'BRIEN!
JUSTIN O'BRIEN!
JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' JUSTIN' O'BRIEN MAKES ME FEEL GOOD!

I Said WHAT?!

So Brian and Justin have been known to say a lot of crazy shit on the show, mainly because there are bottles of beer around. Therefore, they can never remember who said what? This was the inspiration behind the game "I Said WHAT?!", in which usually the guys guess which one said the quote they read aloud. But for Valentine's Day, we mixed up, and this time the wives and MikeTV guess whether Brian or Justin Said WHAT?!

Chatrealm found the quotes and compiled them into this document.

  • "My son's a racist."
  • Bonnie's Guess - Brian
  • Ashley's Guess - Brian
  • Mike's Guess - Justin
    • Correct answer - Brian

Winner: Bonnie
Final Score: FakeGamerGirl: 5 | InvisibleWife: 1,000,003 | MikeTVLive: 1

Diamond Time

If you want to submit your thing for Diamond Time head over to the weekly Diamond Time post on the DiamondClub subreddit. Instructions on how to format your submission can be found in the post!

Movie Draft Chat

  • It's over, Brian's won.
  • Justin owes Brian a steak.
  • Logan is going to make a lot of money.

Join our Community!

If you're streaming on Twitch, use the power of our community at Twitch.tv/Communities/DiamondClub, and you too can have your stream show up on that page for other DiamondClubbers to discover and enjoy!

Aftershow

The guys do a music video breakdown of the Jefferson Airplane song Planes.

Great Quotes

  • “Mostly butt sex!” - Justin

Fun Facts

  • Ya know how Brian and Justin can't remember all the crazy shit they say on the show? They also didn't remember that they had Bonnie and Ashley play I Said WHAT?! back on NSFW
  • This is the episode where we retired the flaming shots bit.
  • Thanks to Wscottis1 for these show notes!

Characters

YouTube

Preshow & Aftershow

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Links


Preceded by:
"World's Fastest Game w/ Garrett Weinzierl"
Justin or Brian (w/ MikeTV and Ashley Paramore)
Followed by:
"Best Little Warehouse in Texas"